“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.”

I love this quote; it has meant so much in my life. A simple American Indian proverb that I have posted on my refrigerator serves as a way to keep me grounded during turbulent times. After all, life can not be free from turmoil at times. We are often tested, thrown curve balls – no one is without ups and downs.  We are all different – our experiences, our journeys; yet we are all the same.

In a class I was teaching, I asked the ladies what the most common cause of stress is for each of them. One woman responded, “Stress comes from other people. People cause me stress.” She then went on to list the various things people have done that have caused her stress. All valid, all beyond her control simply because we cannot control what other people do. Another woman said “finances”, another “time”, another “expectations”, and the list went on.

Stress is hard to define, even the dictionary has more than 10 definitions for it. Yet, often we let ‘stress’ define us.

Case in point, what can you do if you have a child who is bulimic, a father who is an addict, a friend who doesn’t seem to care about you, a boss who keeps piling work on? Do you disown your family and friends, quit your job, and move to the nearest bubble? Hmmm…maybe you’ve felt like it, but obviously unrealistic, right?

Ok, so maybe the scenarios above are a little extreme. Let’s try this one: your husband lost his job, you are 2 months late on all your bills, your kids are in a million activities, and you have volunteered for one too many PTA fundraisers. You’re not going to move to an island and seclude yourself from the realities of life, right?

So, how does one stay inspired and calm during the roller coaster we call life? How can we just be at ‘peace within the storm’ as the American Indian proverb suggests?

Be Still

Stillness must be practiced, regularly just like brushing our teeth. It is hard to quiet the mind with all that is flowing through it from past worries, future concerns, daily to-do lists. Find a space to just “be”, perhaps try sitting under a tree in your yard, kneeling by the window, sitting on your front step, soaking in a warm tub. There are no rules – find what feels peaceful to you. And remember, stillness includes listening. We may not know the answers, but sometimes when we listen, we hear the next step.

Be Open and Embrace

I’ve learned you have to detach yourself from the problems and embrace them in the moment as an integral part of your life. We usually think about the “lesson” after the problem has been resolved or enough time has passed to come to terms with it. Be open to the lesson. Show gratitude, and give yourself space for tears, venting, and acceptance. Be gentle with yourself and others.

Be Connected

Detach from letting the situation define you, connect to the world around you. For example, if the economy is personally affecting you (as it is millions of Americans right now), you can still have fun with your family, dance around the room, watch a great movie, laugh, say hi to a stranger. And, if a loved one is struggling with something – illness, personal issues, anything at all- spend time with him or her, read together, reminisce, create. Remember, each moment carries perfection and imperfection – both beautiful in their own right. Our circumstances should not stop us from loving life. It is a gift, after all.

Related Posts: