The table was set with delicious finger foods, cheesy taco delight, crudite, spinach artichoke dip, and just lots to sample! There was even a fresh – made right in front of our eyes fresh – flatbread pizza with avocado, onions, & tomatoes.

Of course, over munchies and a catalogue filled with recipes, the talk switched over to dieting. There were at least 10 women in the room, so you know inevitably one woman would bring up ‘guilt’ over what she should or should not be eating. One mentioned Weight Watchers, the other was on the 14 Day Diet, another was cutting out all carbs…and the comments were kind of hard to listen to. I mean, this was a room filled with fabulous, smart, beautiful women yet they were so very hard on themselves over food. It was sad to me.

I realize that this same conversation happens everywhere, which is why I’m bringing it up on my blog. It’s not exclusive to these particular girls who were at the party – I could have heard the same conversation in a nail salon, at the super market, in a restaurant, or in an office break room. Many women, regardless of their shape, size, age, are judgmental of themselves. As a matter of fact, a recent study suggests 3 out of 4 women are unhappy with the way they look. 3 out of 4!

It’s funny, because saying to someone, “You’re beautiful, just as you are! Stop the insanity!” doesn’t really work. You get the “oh you’re just being kind…” face. The feeling can’t be changed by words, even as I’m typing this I realize that words simply are not enough.

I believe we nurture what we love, so how can we love ourselves if we are constantly feeling like we don’t measure up? We also love what we nurture, but the ‘dieter’s mentality’ of guilt & deprivation feels more like a whipping, definitely not nurturing to me.

To be honest, I completely “get it”. Ten years ago, I would have been jumping right in on the madness. I decided to put an end to it when I realized feeling like I wasn’t good enough just led me down paths of self-destructive behaviors – overeating or starvation diets or dating the wrong men or trying to find happiness in a $700 pair of shoes - completely out of balance. I decided I had to choose self-love instead, and then spent time defining what it actually meant to “love myself”. More than words, I had to choose behaviors that exemplified love and nurturing, such as:

- Stop criticizing or judging myself (aka asking ”does my butt look big in this?”)

- Practice self-care, such as movement, exercise, eating well, resting, being in tune with my body

- Living with passion and energy by using my gifts, helping others, serving, and having faith as an anchor

- Creating a space that represents who I am from the inside-out: free from clutter, choosing colors that I love, visual reminders & inspirations, and decorating with meaningful items

- Practice love, forgiveness, and understanding of others – being gentle towards others opens us up to being gentle towards ourselves. Life really is a mirror.

Self-love is a daily, ongoing practice. We all have days that we just don’t feel great! But, if we don’t work at it, we allow what the media says or what we hear from others to make us feel like we are “less than” all of the time. Like anything else, you have to strengthen your ‘self-love’ muscle by choosing behaviors that exemplify what you mean when you say the words – I don’t believe there is a right or wrong definition, we must each individually define it for ourselves. Once we do that, we are kinder to ourselves, and each other.

Why do you think we are hard on ourselves? How do you define self-love?

Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves? is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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I feel like a little girl who has something really amazing to share, so who better to share it with than my favorite blog readers? Last night I decided to try an at-home hair remedy I heard about on a segment of The Doctors when I happened to be flipping through the channels, and saw Kathy Ireland with her thick, flowing, gorgeous hair talking about gelatin. She said she used gelatin hair treatments, and the female doctor on the show said it made medical sense because of its “protein building properties”.

To be honest, I’ve been neglecting my hair a bit and haven’t made time for much more than a simple shampoo followed by a dallop of conditioner in the shower! Since google is a girl’s best friend, and I missed the whole segment, I decided to do a little research. Come to find out, gelatin contains keratin.

On a (coincidental) side note, I recently drove by a sign in a salon window that said, “Stop in for a Keratin Treatment.” I felt compelled to touch my hair, and the dry feeling made me almost immediately drop everything, make a u-turn, and head directly into the salon. I opted to stay focused on my deadlines sans keratin.

So, yesterday afternoon when we went into Target, I decided to splurge on a package of Knox Original Unflavored Gelatin. After all, the package was $1.60, and there were 4 packets inside, so I figured what’s the harm in a 40 cent experiment? Who was I kidding? I was super-excited to try the treatment!

Later that evening, when the kids were snuggled in their jammies and the hubby was content with the Yankees-Tigers game, I boiled some water, dissolved the gelatin, mixed with my conditioner, gave my hair a nice, clarifying shampoo and then went to town with the treatment. My conditioner thickened when mixed with the gelatin, and I took time to cover every strand of my hair with it. I left it on for an hour, even though I read 20 minutes would suffice.

I rinsed it out, and let it air dry. I woke up today, and MAN did my hair feel softer than ever!! But, I still wasn’t convinced if it was just ‘placebo effect’. Then, I went to see my client (Susan) who I meet with weekly, and the first thing she said, “Your hair looks great! Super shiny today!”

Umm…speechless. I wasn’t hallucinating , so I had to share the secret 40 cent gelatin hair fix with her and you…

Thank you, The Doctors, Kathy Ireland, and Google!

“Everything good that I know was taught to me by great teachers and I feel like giving back and sharing the technique is the thing to do.” ~ Betty Buckley

Inspired to Share the 40 Cent Gelatin Hair Fix is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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I think a lot of us feel this way at times. So I just want to remind my favorite blog readers that you are perfect, just as you are…here’s a song that reminds us all what love really means. Every time I hear it, I sing it loud and just wish everyone around me would hear the words and believe it for themselves, too!

And if you want to sing along, scroll down, the lyrics are below the video…

He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night “Dear God won’t you please…
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me. I wanna go home”

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I’ve watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen I’ll, I’ll tell you that I…”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew

Love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew

Saturday Inspiration – What Love Really Means…. is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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As my hubby was setting it up, I couldn’t wait to see Lu and the Man take their first go at it. I knew they would have a blast together! We all had our swimsuits on – it was a gorgeous and sunny day. I figured the husband and I would sit on the sidelines and watch – cheer them on. But, when the kids didn’t exactly know what to do with the thing, Michael decided to give it a go and show them how it’s done.

We were all hysterical watching him plunge and slide straight down the slip and slide, and into the grass! Lu followed suit, and the Man decided he’d rather walk it out and get wet from the sprinkler that ran down the edge.

“Mommy!” Lu exclaimed, “it’s your turn!! Your turn, Mommy!!”

I have to admit, it looked like so much fun, but I was actually nervous. When I gave birth to the Little Man, he kind of  ’broke my back’ in labor. I spent nearly 2 months unable to move properly because no one knew what was wrong, and then finally an angel doctor discovered fragments of my disk in the cauda equina region of my lower back. By removing the fragments (so I didn’t go into real paralysis from the pressure on my nerves) and strengthening the muscles in my back, I haven’t had any issues since.

I realize in order to keep it healthy, I mustn’t be complacent with it. And so (under doctor’s order), I haven’t let my back stop me from moving in other ways – working out, walking, lifting, traveling – for some reason I felt a pinch of fear set in while contemplating the slip and slide.

“Oh, honey, mommy is having a ball watching you! You go ahead!” I answered her.

That night I thought about not doing the slip and slide. Who was I kidding? I could do it. I was a little scared, but really, I rehabilitated and strengthened my back. I know that it was an excuse, that I just had to push myself out of my comfort zone of sitting on the chair watching, and get out there in the wet grass and go do it!

The next day we ventured into the yard again for slip and slide round 2. Lu was jumping even sooner, sliding, and becoming more and more comfortable. Man even took a few tumbles down! Finally, I said, “Watch out kids, mommies turn!!” Lu and the Man’s face lit up with excitement. And with a dash and a dive I slid down the slide smiling the entire time as they cheered me on.

Then, we simply couldn’t get enough of the thing – round and round, over and over again. We spent hours outside. Pure joy from the experience, confidence from overcoming my fear, and fun for us all.

How will you push yourself out of your comfort zone today? What will you do to get out of the sidelines and join the game? 

Summer Fun and a Swift Kick Out of My Comfort Zone is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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This show is a live, one-on-one version of the Identity Magazine 48-state tour, beginning this September! Women from all over the nation are answering these five questions to tap into their Identity deeper: to validate who they are, what they have to offer, and what they love about themselves.

Susan Vernicek, an amazing inspirista and the founder of Identity asked me to answer the 5 questions and share them with the world! It was REALLY hard, I must admit!

We did a skype interview (I am in my car, actually!!), and the Identity Five made me stop and think so much, that I invited Susan to do a workshop with ladies from my 30-Day B.A.L.A.N.C.E Challenge.

If you are looking to increase your confidence while decreasing your negative thoughts and increasing your self-worth while decreasing your insecurity….you must then watch the show, and answer the 5 questions for yourself!

Here’s what you need to know:
1. All shows will be less than 10 minutes, I know the attention span is about 3 minutes, BUT I know you have 10 minutes for yourself, and if you don’t, than I suggest you find 10 minutes, even right before you go to bed.
2. The interviews are real and raw, not perfect!
3. Remember that this is the first show and it will only get better! AND it is sponsored by Girlfriend Circles (which you must check out, too!)

The Identity Five Show, Scratching the Surface is an online show featuring high profile, diverse, and real women who unveil their inner secrets about self-worth and self-esteem.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE INTERVIEW

Check Out My Interview on The Identity Five Show – Scratching the Surface! is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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Then one day I realized I wasted too much time worrying about my imperfections, and not enough time focusing on the good stuff (I think a friend actually pointed it out to me).  I’ve learned to embrace my uniqueness, because we are all magnetic; and it has nothing to do with the way we look!! It’s simple, and we all deserve to have a life we love…

To turn your confidence around instantly, keep these 3 tips in mind:

*To Be a Magnet, You Must Radiate Magnetic Energy

If you think you are lonely and boring, what will you attract? A wet mop if you’re lucky! You’ve got to exude confidence so that others will be automatically attracted to you. Confidence comes from knowing what you have to offer the world, so take a course in YOU! We often forget who we are as we get lost in life’s rat race. Spend some time identifying your best qualities, and only focus on them. Your best qualities will expand, and get even better as a result. People will be drawn to you – see it happening every time you enter a room, and you will radiate magnetic energy!

*Love Yourself First

Don’t pick yourself apart or wish your life away. You’ve got to be your best friend, and love the person you are today, flaws and all! Be proud of every bit of who you are, and then you will nurture yourself well. The way we see ourselves is the way the world sees us. If we walk into a party and think “My butt looks big in this, no one will talk to me.” Then, the signal we’re transmitting is that we want to be left alone. Instead, love your curves, love who you are, and think, “I look fabulous, and I will meet many new people tonight!” I guarantee you’ll spend the night chatting away, and feeling great!

*Live Every Minute

Time going quickly is more than just a cliché. It’s a fact that our lives can pass us by if we don’t really live them. Embrace life, and live it! Do the things you love to do, and you will attract new people and experiences into your world all of the time. If you love nature, find places to go for hikes, get out and commune with nature. If you are a writer, buy a journal, grab a pen, and start writing. We spend too much time thinking about the things we wish we were doing, instead of just doing them!! People are attracted to those who are authentic, and live their lives with passion. Engage in life, make the most of every experience you have, and you will be (as the song goes) simply irresistible!

3 Tips to Turn Your Confidence Around is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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You can become a part of this movement, too!

Through EmpowHER’s 1000Women campaign, they are recruiting 1,000 women who will then each reach out to 1,000 women to create the biggest movement for women’s health and wellness. See, just a few seconds of your time, your email address and 1,000,000 women’s health can be improved and lives changed – just like that. When they have reached their goal of reaching 1,000,000 women, EmpowHER will donate $50,000 towards women’s health research.

Please take a minute to participate. Your participation may just save a life. Here are three easy ways to get involved:

1) Tell A Friend — For every woman that participates in 1000Women, 5¢ will go to women’s health research.

2) Vote for A Story — Stories with the most votes will be featured in major, national promotional efforts. Stories that reach 1,000 votes receive special promotional opportunities. See stories HERE.

3) Inspire Others (you know I love this one!!) — Help other women by sharing your story. Share your story HERE.

About EmpowHER

EmpowHER Media is an award-winning health media company for women. The Company’s flagship and Top 5 women’s health and wellness site and community — EmpowHER.com — is the home for female health consumers. Millions of women visit EmpowHER.com every year, making it one of the largest and fastest-growing resources dedicated exclusively to women’s health and wellness.

Partner Focus: EmpowHER’s 1000Women Campaign is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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Where there is faith, fear can not exist, right?

So, I kept going, because I just knew with every fiber of my being I had something to share- my story in written word, the lessons I’ve learned from working with thousands of women, in printed written word, with a hardcover, with color, with illustrations, with humor, with tears, with honesty…a book that you can touch and turn pages, take in the bath with you, cozy on the couch with, bring to the beach, share with a girlfriend.

To be honest, I began this book quest with a concept: Finding Balance. This idea came to me after taking a series of coaching courses, and realizing that the idea of “perfectly balancing life” is ridiculous. Finding balance isn’t about being perfect, but rather about embracing imperfection. We must find balance from within. And, we are most in balance when we live in the present moment, when we love, accept, and nurture ourselves & others, when we are creating our vision, when we use our unique gifts to serve the world, and when what we dream happens when we are awake.

Let me explain. I had been on a search for balance probably since birth, but I can really remember it beginning in high school. I was always juggling a lot of things, working at the mall, school, activities, friends, boys, diets – COUNTLESS diets, too many to mention. In college, instead of gaining the freshmen fifteen, I gained the freshmen fifty, sixty, seventy, soon after eighty pounds and became victim to the dieting wheel of frustration, graduated into the world of work-aholicsm , dated a series of awfully uncommitted men, and ended up with a scary health diagnosis of borderline diabetes after gaining back fifty pounds for the fiftieth time.

Smack.

Wake up.

Then I realized I really didn’t have any sense of balance in my life, I didn’t love myself the way I loved friends or family. All of those things were in check. What was way off-balance was how I took care of me. Lightbulb.

Little by little I redefined success, perfection, nurturing. I threw away diet books, vowed never to ask my mom if my butt looked big in jeans (hard to do that one- it took years!), and basically peeled back layers and layers of overworn past experiences that were weighing me down.

So what if the popular girl tried to hairspray my hair to stand straight up while I was asleep at the Franklin Institute at my Girl Scout trip in 5^th grade? Shed it. Who cares if Mr. Wonderful turned into Mr. Wonder Why He’s Not that Into Me Anymore? Let it go. Or that the sales clerk judged my “pretty face” and “ugly body” (her words– not mine)? In the trash.

I knew I was more than the experiences, and that these experiences should not define me. Ok, so my inside-out transformation didn’t happen overnight, but I can honestly say something in me shifted in a single moment, and just like that my eyes opened wider and my life changed. I felt like I viewed myself differently. I walked taller, I took time for me, I thought about my thoughts and immediately changed the ones that made me feel heavy.

I had a calling to work with women, and have spent the last decade doing just that: from owning Curves franchises, to teaching workshops, to coaching clients, to hosting the podcast show ‘Girls Night Out’, to working as Chief Creative Officer for the non-profit, Enchanted Makeovers…

So, after spending most of my life battling with balance & self-esteem issues, and working with thousands of women who had similar stories, I knew I had to share a different message with the world – about defining your own meaning and method for balancing life and balancing the scale! The book is about ditching the ‘dieter’s mentality’ and all of the self-loathing that goes along with it and includes incredible tips and stories from real women, as well as my B.A.L.A.N.C.E principles for living an inspired, healthy, happy life!!

The journey of writing this book has not been an easy one.  As a matter of fact, over the years I received 40 “rejection letters” from agents refusing to even represent the book. I feel very blessed for the people who came into my life and introduced me to my current agent who believed in me and my mission from the start. She worked with me for 2 years before we finished the proposal and submitted to publishers!

And now —

Pinch me!! I am SO SO SO excited to announce that HarperOne (Harper Collins) will be publishing my book!! Let the next chapter of my journey begin!!

The Next Chapter of My Journey Begins… is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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Actually, my sniffle is peanuts compared to the people I’ve known who have done the same thing with cancers, heart disease, paralysis, thyroid issues. Yes, it’s true! Of course, I’m not discrediting medicine by any means, especially when it comes to acute diseases. Medicine can ease pain, allow comfort, and open us up to wanting to heal ourselves. It can be absolutely necessary in the interim until we are well. But the power of our mind is one of the greatest powers on earth, so let’s learn to use it!

Whether we’re just feeling a little under the weather or have a major life issue, we can use our positive energy and core belief system to heal and nurture our bodies. Here are some tips to remember:

*Picture Perfection
If you see your body as functioning perfectly well, your body will respond. We must hold the image of perfection in our minds, and not allow anything less to fog our thoughts. For example, if we’re told we have a low thyroid, the natural thought is “I will gain weight.” Ironically, if we think that, then it will happen. I had a client live up to the expectation of a low thyroid causing weight gain merely because she believed that would happen. As soon as she changed her thinking, she changed her actions, her body responded, and she lost weight! We must think of ourselves as healthy and well. See everything functioning well, envision an energetic, happy version of yourself. You’ll begin living with passion and verve immediately!

*We Nurture What We Love
Remember, our thoughts motivate our actions. Think about it. When we love something, we take care of it. Plant-lovers water plants; plant-haters kill them! You absolutely must love yourself, your life, and your body today, as it is now. Begin by making lists of all of your fabulous qualities – inside and out. Focus on the good, and it will only get better as a result. The love you have for yourself will translate into positive energy, and you will nurture yourself well!

*Laughter Holds a Key to Longevity
When we laugh, we are sending a happy signal to the world. Laughter is documented to be one of the most healing tools we have when it comes to disease in our bodies. Studies shows that 30 minutes of ‘mirthful laughter’ decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the blood by up to 87%!

Prolonged high cortisol levels interfere with our body’s imperative processes like: thyroid function, mental performance, bone density, muscle tissue, inflammatory response and immune function, and can create such undesirable effects as blood sugar imbalances, increased body weight, and raised blood pressure.

Laughter also boosts immune function, re-oxygenates blood, stimulates our muscles (now that’s the best ab workout yet!), and relieves pain. So, take a look at your environment. Does everything about it make you smile? If not, fill your space with happy images, soothing colors, pictures with meaning. Play music, watch movies, tell jokes, pull out old-fashioned games like Twister or Trivial Pursuit, and have a blast at home. Laughing and smiling releases anger and negativity, so we can release illness, live well, love this gift of life, and improve our immune system!

3 Ways to Will Yourself Well is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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Check it out:

The Identity Five Show Trailer!! is a post from: Inspired Girl* by Jennifer Tuma-Young

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