Life, Quotes

Hurt, Healing, and Practicing True Forgiveness

0 Comments 26 January 2012

“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”
~ Marianne Williamson

Situations happen, from hurtful comments to misunderstandings to errors in judgment to personalities clashing – these things can easily make for difficult relationships.

I think it’s fairly common to ‘surface forgive’ in order to smooth it over. But, when we ‘surface forgive’, we actually are still holding on to resentment and uneasy feelings on the inside. Surface forgiving is like stuffing down the hurt to block our vocal chords from speaking. And, when we ‘surface forgive’, we choose to just carry on, either by ending the relationship swiftly or by continuing it as if nothing happened. This wreaks havoc on our health and does no good in healing relationships, it may even deepen the wedge.

I know the old saying ‘forgive and forget’, but can we ever really do it without the practice of true forgiveness?

True forgiveness isn’t about just getting along, and doesn’t have to be about dumping the relationship entirely. It’s not about right or wrong. It’s about understanding that we are each imperfect, that we may not always see eye to eye, that miscommunications are a 2-way street. Practicing true forgiveness connects us as human beings- each of us is flawed, yet beautiful in our own ways.  We all put our foot in our mouth, don’t always say or do the ‘right’ things, make mistakes. I believe most people have good intent, but delivery or content may not always be ‘perfect’. It’s about understanding that people are affected by stress differently, and if they are going through difficult times, choosing to be compassionate, not defensive will change your perspective entirely.

True forgiveness is about recognizing that we all have a history that impacts our actions, and often our thoughts, and that there may be deep reasons another human being “is” the way he or she is, and none of us are exempt from making mistakes. Instead, let go of the anger or frustration.

Let me be clear, I don’t think true forgiveness means we have to accept standards of behavior that are less than we deserve. If your gut is telling you something is unacceptable, you should remove yourself from the situation or release yourself from the relationship. And make peace with it, forgive, and move forward in your life.

True forgiveness sets us free, lightens the load that drags us down. So, today choose to practice forgiveness…release the uncomfortable feeling of discord, and instead listen with compassion, communicate with your heart, be gentler on both yourself and others.

What does forgiveness mean to you? How do you practice true forgiveness in your life?
 

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Life

Are You Living in the Dash? Eric Handler Reminds Us to Live Our Legacy Now…

0 Comments 19 January 2012

When I saw Eric Handler’s TEDx video on Facebook, I knew I had to share it with my favorite blog readers.

My words won’t do his justice, so simply watch as Eric describes his WAKE UP moment thanks to a room full of lively, engaged children – life’s greatest teachers…

About Eric Handler:

Named by Fade In Magazine as one of Hollywood’s Top 100, Eric Handler was a highly respected entertainment professional for 11 years, working as a development executive at Dreamworks and as an agent at the William Morris agency. All of that was not enough and eventually Eric was led to some soul searching, which sparked the idea of Positively Positive.

His Positively Positive Facebook page has garnered over a million fans in its first year, and is in the process of becoming an immersive website with uplifting messages from all walks of life, from Olympic Gold Medalists, to kids fighting for their lives, to everyday people wanting to make a difference in the world.

Eric lives in Los Angeles with wife and business partner, Julie, two daughters, and two dogs. He is a successful real estate entrepreneur, a certified Kundalini Yoga teacher, and an active board member with Y.O.G.A. for Youth, a nonprofit organization that provides urban youth with tools for self-discovery. In his spare time, he enjoys yoga, traveling, and spending time with his family.

http://www.positivelypositive.com/

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Life, Quotes

Honoring Martin Luther King, Jr.

3 Comments 16 January 2012

Growing up, Martin Luther King, Jr. and I would often share a birthday, and I felt a special connection to him, and not just because I got the day off. His words struck me; even in my grammar school days, I remember hearing his speech and being curious why he had to say he had a dream that  “little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers”.

“Why wouldn’t the boys and girls hold hands?” I would think.  The innocence of a child.

But as I got older, and I learned the harsh realities that other human beings have lived through, I felt an even stronger admiration for Martin Luther King, Jr. that he had the courage, the wisdom, the strength to speak out, to transform our country and the world.

I know that each and every single one of us, regardless of race, age, size, color, economic status- every single one of us has a story, has a history, has something to offer, something to give, to teach. I believe that our dreams should serve others, not simply ourselves. We are all connected, we are all important, each an integral piece of the puzzle. Martin Luther King, Jr. had dreams that he put into motion- they served millions of lives, and his words are still a catalyst for change.

Thank you is not enough. One day off from work or school is not enough. We must love and accept each other without judgment. We must “be” the change that Martin Luther King, Jr. paved the way for just 5 decades ago.

What dreams do you have? How will your dreams serve a purpose beyond yourself? What will you do today to take a step toward your dream?

Below is Just a Snippet of Some of the Wise Words from Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction…the chain reaction of evil–hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars–must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength To Love, 1963.

“Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love, 1963.

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967.

Below is An Excerpt from “I Have a Dream” by Martin Luther King, Jr, delivered August 28th, 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C:

“And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” — one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”2

This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim’s pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

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Balance

Sunday Morning – Sing It Loud

0 Comments 08 January 2012

I love this song! It’s just a beautiful reminder of what a strong anchor (and compass) faith can be in our lives! Sing it loud this Sunday morning, and know that no matter what is happening, God helps us through…

Everything Good by Ashes Remain

You are oxygen
on a late night drive
To clear my head when hope has passed me by
You are gravity
when I’m upside down
You help me find my way back to the ground
And this is why

[CHORUS]
You’re everything good
everything true
When all the world is fading
You’re everything new
You are my eyes
when I can’t see
When all the world is broken
You will always be
Everything good

You are all I have
and all I need
And all I am is what You’ve made of me
And this is why

[CHORUS]

You’re everything
good to me
You’re everything
that I need
that I need
And this is why

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Balance, Quotes

Little Miss Negative Now Available on iPad & iPhone

0 Comments 05 January 2012

For anyone who’s ever entertained the negative voice of self-doubt, check my adult storybook, “Little Miss Negative”…get a full preview below. It’s now available for the iPad and iPhone – wow – feels so 2012!!!!

Little Miss Negative by Jennifer Tuma-Young | Make Your Own Book

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Food, My Life

Creamy Yogurt Deliciousness and My Cinnamon Kick

0 Comments 04 January 2012

This morning I was in a bit of a rush, and did not have a clue what to eat for breakfast – note to self: must. go. food. shopping.

I am on a bit of cinnamon kick lately, and have come to the conclusion that cinnamon can make just about any food taste even better – really. I’ve been adding it to coffee, green tea, sprinkling it on my fruit, and in a grilled brie bite. I even added cinnamon and cayenne to my scrambled eggs the other day on a whim, and it was YUMMY!!

My hunger was calling, and short of eating cinnamon by the spoonful, I decided to just mix it up with some stuff I already had on hand, which included:

* Plain Greek Yogurt
* Almond Butter
* Pure Vanilla Extract
* Raw Oats
* Cinnamon
* Stevia

I whipped the yogurt, vanilla, almond butter, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Then, I took the raw oats and sprinkled them with cinnamon and stevia, and poured the oats over the top of the yogurt mixture, and in 30 seconds indulged in creamy yogurt deliciousness!!

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Life, Quotes

Morning Morning Get Up & Sing: What Faith Can Do

0 Comments 02 January 2012

This year, instead of making a resolution, choose to take your true dreams out of hiding. Write your dreams down. Speak them aloud. Share them with others. Your spirit will awaken, and you will be who you were born to be – I know that person is so much more than a number on the scale or the statement sent from the bank or even the title on a business card. Use your gifts and talents to serve…and have unwavering faith that whatever you may be going through, you will get through with grace.

The lyrics to this song say it all, because it is truly amazing what faith can do…

What Faith Can Do by Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you’re stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don’t have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

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Rethinking Resolutions: Give Yourself Permission to “Be” (repost)

0 Comments 31 December 2011

Happy New Year to my favorite blog readers! I am so grateful that I have this space to share, learn, teach, and just “be” myself.

Last year I wrote this blog about rethinking resolutions. I’ve worked for over a decade with clients who make “January” or “Monday” or the beginning of a new month, their time to “start”. I myself used to do that quite often.

But, over the years I came to realize the amazing power of  just “being”, and its transformational affects in my life and the lives of many others. So, I decided to re-post this blog for New Year’s 2012:

*********

While New Year’s is a very popular time for everyone to think about resolutions, what we want to change, what we want to accomplish, I am taking a stand against the “mad rush” to “start” (the  phenomenon that happens every New Year), and instead, asking you to consider how awesome you are right now, in this moment, and relish in the fact that you can just “be”.

Be happy. Be healthy. Be inquisitive. Be strong. Be kind. Be yourself.  Be gentle. Be accepting. Be present.

I mean, you don’t have to wait until you lose 20 pounds, or you get a new job, or you pay off the loan, or you get married, to be the person you were born to be now, right? Happiness isn’t about being someone else, or having everything “perfectly perfect”. The beauty is in the flaws, and to me we are each flawed perfectly- we learn, we grow from our experiences every step of the way. So, give yourself permission to just “be”, and  take the actions that align with your being your best self.

We are all works in progress– there is beauty in life unfolding as it should. We have the skill, the drive, the intelligence, the means to do whatever we set out to do. Awareness and vision magnify our best qualities, so we can achieve extraordinary things.

Who were you born to be?

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Life, My Life

Reflecting on 2011…

2 Comments 30 December 2011

I can’t believe it’s almost 2012! I love this time of year – it’s so much fun to look back and reflect on all of the amazing things that happened – watching my munchkins grow in leaps & bounds, signing my very first book deal & having my husband pour an entire bottle of champagne on my head, reconnecting with old friends (thank you, Facebook!), witnessing my best friend’s wedding. And, of course, there were  challenges that pushed me to grow some more – between making costly mistakes, realizing the importance of communication, my dad spending over 2 months in the hospital (thankfully he is home and healing!!), and experiencing why they say it is never good to have too much on one’s plate…this year has definitely been exciting, emotional, fun-filled, and teary eyed!

I was just speaking with a dear friend, and she couldn’t wait for the new year – she said she needed a new beginning. But, as we discussed 2011, she also realized that while it had its share of “cruddiness”, the not so good stuff made her begin appreciating what was right in front of her – the simple beauty of life itself. She also opened up to new endeavors, which are taking off very soon for her! You may have dealt with your share of stuff, too, (haven’t we all?) but I’m certain in some incredible way, the tests and the trials are serving a purpose: to teach us something, to stretch us to reach our potential, to reconnect with the blessings around us. So, in these final days of 2011, let’s celebrate our lives, our imperfections, our successes, and our challenges…by showing gratitude for it all. Let’s pull out our journals and start writing!

Here’s to health, happiness, peace, and miracles in 2012!

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Life

Stretch Yourself Today

2 Comments 28 December 2011

Soar is one of my favorite words. Here’s my definition if it:

Soar – Like a bird flying. To Soar seems effortless, but really learning to fly is one of the most painful, strenuous things a living creature must endure. Soar is about taking inspired actions, putting “footsteps to your prayers”, and doing the work necessary to create your vision. Soar is also that beautiful feeling when you are in motion, living out your purpose, flowing through the course even when you are being challenged, tested, or re-routed.

Today I want you to “SOAR” by stretching yourself beyond your normal routine, and stepping outside of comfort and into the scary, thrilling space of the unknown!

There are lots of ways we can stretch ourselves, from simple to complex. So, if Einstein defines ‘insanity’ as “doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results”, checking your routine may be a good place to begin looking for ways to stretch yourself. Here are some ideas to get rolling (or stretching I should say!):

- If you always walk after dinner, try raising the bar by going a bit faster, jogging, or adding ankle/wrist weights. Push yourself a little harder to work your heart and strengthen your muscles (safely, of course). Or literally stretch yourself and take a yoga class!

- If you are constantly at odds with a loved one, and all you do is argue, try kindness by doing a simple, nice gesture for him or her “just because” without expectation of accolades or resolution.

- If you feel lonely or in isolation, try chatting up with a stranger, smiling at your neighbors, talking in the break room with a co-worker. Share something about yourself and connect with the world around you.

- If your stove has turned into an extra storage unit because you aren’t much of a cook, find your favorite recipe, dust off your pots and pans, and channel your inner Nigella Lawson or Julia Childs.

- If your same old same old routine is boring you, be bold and paint on red lips, pin curl your hair, and put on your favorite dress, have an impromptu date with a friends, spouse, or solo – try a new restaurant, boutique, or out of the way cafe.

- If you have something weighing on your mind you need to discuss with a boss or co-worker, but keep biting your tongue because you don’t want to have a sticky conversation, stretch yourself to speak your mind and allow your voice to be heard. Sometimes one uncomfortable conversation can lead to positive changes that make for a much more comfortable environment.

- If you’ve always wanted to try your hand at a hobby or sport, pick today to begin. Buy a paint set and canvas, release fear, and have at it. Grab a hot glue gun and create something. Play a round of basketball or game of bowling.

I think you get the drift. The most important thing about stretching yourself is to just do it. Register for that class, send out your resume, call an old friend, write an apology, give a stranger a flower, take a funny photo of yourself, whatever it is…remember stretch yourself to soar so you can be the woman you were born to be!

How will you stretch yourself today?

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